It was as if I’d misread the schedule and the trains to Happy Couplehood had all left, and there I was with nothing to do but sit with the drunk businessmen at the bar, nurse a warm beer and wait for the trains to start up again. I attended weddings by myself, went to parties I didn’t feel like going to ‘just in case’ and was escorted to various events by my dad, my cousin Tim and my dear friend Sam. At one point during this time, my father was on a plane and noticed a woman reading a magazine I was in. Strangers were worried about me; that’s how long I was single!
Magazines don’t like it when you say too little about your personal life.
If they had their way, every article would be full of sex and gossip, and I couldn’t contribute stories about either. How to talk to US Weekly about your new or nonexistent relationships! If you plan to be an actor who is regularly interviewed, you need to start thinking now about your favourite cheap-and-cheerful beauty products (Chap Stick, Neutrogena sunblock, any brand of coconut oil), your go-to workout routine (spinning, yoga, walking across the Brooklyn Bridge), your favourite leave-in conditioner (Davines, Oribe, said coconut oil), your latest girl crush (I never have an answer for this – let’s just say coconut oil), and, if you’re presenting at an awards show, which other presenter you’re most excited to meet.
Journalists seemed increasingly frustrated, and interviews became less about what project I was doing and more a thinly veiled reiteration of: ‘Join us today as we try once again to figure out what is wrong with this poor woman who just can’t seem to get a date.’I wasn’t looking for a three-month course, just a place I could stop by when I needed a quick answer on how to handle problems I hadn’t even known existed back when all I dreamed of doing as an actor was performing in the chorus of a regional theatre production of Oklahoma! Be sure to think of someone beforehand, otherwise – even though you’re surrounded by dozens of your idols – you will draw a complete blank: ‘I’m excited to meet, uh, that guy, from that movie, with the people in it…’In addition to being asked to reveal intimate details about your love life, you’ll also be encouraged to dish about your co-stars, to which there’s only one acceptable answer: that you’re obviously one big happy family.
Incidentally, when I was first filming Gilmore Girls, I’d run into George on the lot sometimes, and he was always very nice to me and acted as if he knew who I was and I was behaving normally, which is very kind in the face of my babbling.
But ultimately you’re going to slip and show your house the way it is on a morning when you’re running late for work or can’t find an outfit – and that’s a relationship.
Ultimately, everyone who gets close to you is going to see inside your wardrobe on its worst day, and their reaction to that is what will tell you if you’re going to make it or not. While true that our characters were siblings, I wasn’t sure why it kept coming up.
You know how before a party you clean up your house so that everyone thinks you live that way all the time? It’s a way more exaggerated version of meeting anyone you hope to impress for the first time.
You present the flowers-on-the-table, bed-always-made side of yourself first.